Goku's Broken Heart
by lechymonk
Summary: A one shot about Goku and a little bird that he befriends one day.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Saiyuki or any of the guys. That honor belongs to Kazuya Minekura.

Goku woke up slowly. There was no real reason for him to get up. It's not like he had anywhere to go. He stretched his arms above his head and opened his eyes.

He was still here. Chained and confined. This was his life for almost 500 years. He looked around at his surroundings. Walls of rock with moss growing in some spots was his home. He had nowhere comfortable to sleep. His bed was made on a hard rock surface. He was able to make it a little more soft by scraping moss off of the walls, but it wasn't much. The moss was cold and slimy and smelled rotten.

He sat up and scooted backwards until his back touched the rocks behind him. He was never hungry. He couldn't think of a time when he was. It didn't matter if he did get hungry. There was no one to bring him food. Once he tasted the moss just to see what it was like. He spit it out after just one chew. It tasted sour, like something that had died. He didn't know why he had tried. Curiosity, he guessed.

The sun was not to the highest point in the sky yet. He could still see the bright yellow ball. It's gentle light came in through the rock bars of his prison. Once the sun got higher in the air, shadows would come creeping in, bring with them the lonely darkness. He hated the night the most. Being all alone with his thoughts was the worst.

He got up and walked to the front of his cage and pushed his face between the rock bars. The sun wasn't very warm. Summer had passed and fall was on its way. Goku didn't mind fall. Leaves would rush in his prison on wings of air. They made a better bed than the slimy moss. He would gather them in his thin arms, marveling at the bright colors. Sometimes, he could spend a whole day just looking at the different colors, separating them into piles of red, yellow, brown and all the different shades in between. He loved the different shapes.

With sharp rocks he found on the ground, he scratched pictures of his favorite leaves into the walls. The pictures were crude but they were his and he was proud of them. He had thousands of these childlike drawings on the walls. But the picture he took the most time with was the drawing of the sun. A whole wall was dedicated to his friend the sun. The sun was the first thing he looked for in the morning. He grew sad watching it pass overhead. He thought it must stay longer on the other side of the mountain and he wished his cage faced that way. He would rather say good night to the sun. Having the sun as the last thing he saw before he went to sleep might make his dreams more pleasant.

Goku shuddered as his thoughts drifted back to his dream from last night. He had no idea who the people were in his dreams, but some of them frightened him. There was a large man with a cruel voice and a red mark on his forehead. He scared Goku the most.

But, it was the small boy with the large golden eyes and long strands of hair that framed his face, that haunted Goku. He had never seen the boy in real life, but Goku felt he knew him. Images from his past dreams flashed through his mind. The little boy and Goku hiding behind a huge statue, climbing trees, stuffing their faces with berries until their little bellies puffed out. Goku smiled. He liked remembering those parts of his dreams. Reliving those dreams comforted him.

Goku watched the sky for awhile, arms around his folded knees, passing the day with the clouds. A warm wind blew the long strands of his brown hair across his arms, tickling them. He watched the long grass sway back and forth. The only sound reaching his ears was the soft swish of the grass as it bent in the wind.

A bright flash of yellow caught his eye. Was it a ray of sun he'd missed? A new leaf falling to the ground? No, it was neither of those things. Goku jumped up and pressed his face to his rock bars. His large golden eyes scanned the sky for the yellow object again. He struggled to get his body past the rock but it was hopeless. No matter how hard he tried, the bars were too close together. His hands fisted around the bars and he shook them, giving a little cry of frustration. They wouldn't budge.

He looked at the long grass, searching through the tall weeds, hoping to see yellow in a sea of green. Nothing. The grass was too long and if the yellow thing was in there, it was well hidden. The yellow thing was too big to sit on the grass. It's weight would crush the grass.

Goku scanned the trees, his eyes straining to see in the distance. The leaves obscured his vision and there weren't too many empty branches. He got excited as he thought he saw the bright yellow again but it was just a falling leaf. Goku watched it gently dance to the ground.

He sat back down and pulled his knees up to his chest. Crossing his arms on top of them, he hid his head in the circle of his arms. He didn't know why he was so sad. He had learned a long time ago that no matter how hard he'd wished, no one was coming to free him.

He looked up a few hours later to see the shadows were growing longer. Goku scooted back until they no longer touched him. Night was coming again. The gentle breeze had stopped. Newly fallen leaves lined the front of his cage and Goku gathered his courage to make his way into the shadows and scoop them up. His old bed of leaves had dried out and they were breaking apart into little pieces. Goku laid the new leaves on top of the old ones, making a new bed for the night. He wished he could gather the long grass and maybe make a cover for the long winter nights that lay ahead.

Time passed until full darkness was upon him. He shivered although he wasn't cold. He was dreading falling asleep. He didn't want to see the large, angry man in his dreams. Goku turned his thoughts to the other people he had dreamed about.

A large man, in leather, was another one who frequented his dreams. He had black hair, deep brown eyes and usually a cigarette in his mouth. In his dreams, Goku was usually climbing the man's back clamoring for a ride. Sometimes, the man took him for a ride on his back around a large, richly decorated place. He didn't know where this place was or even if it existed, but he liked it.

Another man that Goku dreamt about was a tall, thin man with glasses. He liked this man. His voice was gentle and he smiled so warmly at Goku. In a large desk, he kept a drawer full of crayons and paper for Goku to draw on. Goku figured the large messy room was this man's office. One dream he could remember, the man thanked Goku for the lovely drawing and pinned it on a wall, covering a portion of a large map.

Goku smiled at the memories of those dreams. He wished the men were real so he could meet them one day. Goku looked at his little bed. He was satisfied with how it looked and lay down on the leaves. The chains around his wrists and ankles clanked softly. He didn't notice the weight of them anymore. He was so used to them, that they were almost an extension of his limbs.

Goku tried to get his mind off of the darkness that was coming in through the bars. It had almost reached his bed. There wasn't even a moon tonight. Goku liked the nights with a full moon. A silver moon wasn't as good as the golden sun, but it was better than the black night. He thought of something else that reminded him of the golden sun. The third man that he dreamed about. A very tall, thin man with long flowing golden hair and purple eyes.

The man wasn't fun like the man in leather and he wasn't comforting like the man with glasses but Goku dreamed about him the most. Goku smiled as he remembered the first dream he had about the purple eyed man. He thought the man's hair looked like the sun and he touched it to see if it was hot. In his dream, he pulled too hard and pulled out several strands from the man's ponytail. He had checked his hand when he woke, as if he expected to be holding the man's hair in his hands.

Goku lay on the leaves, thinking of the three man, until he fell asleep. The only sounds in the rock cage were the rattle of his chains and Goku's soft breathing.

The sun woke him the next morning. Goku got up and walked to the front of the bars and stopped. There, on the other side of the bars, was a little yellow bird. Goku held his breath. He didn't want to disturb it or scare it. The bird turned it's head several times, checking out Goku. Deciding that Goku wasn't a threat, the little bird returned to eating it's breakfast. Goku was excited. This was the first time he'd seen another living creature this close.

Goku crouched down and put his arm through the bars. The bird stilled. Goku worried that the bird might get scared and fly away. Goku waited patiently, his heart beating fast. The yellow bird took a few little hops toward Goku. Goku held his breath as he watched the bird hop. He curled his fingers to his palm, leaving his index finger out. The bird hopped to his finger and with a quick flick of his wings, landed on Goku's finger.

Goku's heart soared. His body trembled with excitement. He was scared to move his hand back near his body. The bird might fly away. It looked at him with little black eyes. It chirped. Goku smiled. The bird chirped a few more times, gripping Goku's finger with his little talons. They dug into Goku's finger a bit, but he didn't care.

Goku slowly brought his hand back through the bars of rock, being careful to keep his movements gentle. The little yellow bird just looked at him and chirped louder. Goku froze. Was the bird angry? Did it think that Goku would hurt him? The bird hopped off his finger and began to make it's way up Goku's arm. Goku's golden eyes widened. The bird wasn't scared, it wanted to be with him!

Goku brought his hand up to his right shoulder and the little bird hopped off his finger and on to his shoulder. Goku could hardly feel the weight of the bird but he did feel the little talons grip his shirt. He walked to a big rock that was nice and flat and sat down. The bird was chirping next to his ear and Goku loved the sound.

The day passed quickly. Goku showed the bird his bed, the drawings on the walls and most importantly, the drawing of the sun. Goku talked for hours about everything and nothing. The bird stayed on his shoulder for a few hours but then flew off. Goku's heart sunk. He really thought the bird might stay longer. He watched the bird fly around Goku's cage. All of a sudden, the little bird landed on Goku's bed. Goku's heart soared with hope. Maybe the bird was tired and wanted to nap. It was getting dark after all.

Goku got comfortable on his little bed. He watched the bird hop around on the leaves, trying to find just the right spot for the night. The bird settled next to Goku's head and Goku closed his eyes. He was sure his dreams would be pleasant tonight.

The next morning, the first thing Goku did was look for his little bird. It wasn't on his bed or any other place in the cave. He spied something bright yellow on the other side of the rock bars. Goku ran to them, in a panic. There on the ground, was his bird. It wasn't moving. Goku ran to the bars and dropped to his knees. He thrust his arm through the bars, trying to reach his bird. He cursed the fact that his arms weren't long enough to reach his bird. He strained harder, stretching his arm, almost pulling his shoulder out of joint. But, it still wasn't enough. He couldn't reach his friend.

Goku pulled his hand back through the bars. He curled his hands into fists, his long nails digging into his palms, drawing blood. Tears ran down his face. His little body shook with great, gasping sobs. He grabbed the rock bars and threw his head back and howled to the sky. His heart cried out for something, what he wanted, he didn't know.

He didn't know how long he stayed that way, sobbing and cursing to the sky. His eyes were burning and they felt grainy. Gradually, his tears stopped. He didn't even have the sun for comfort, for it was hiding behind the clouds.

Footsteps sounded in the gray, still day. A blonde man was coming up the mountain path, looking for something or someone. He wanted to find the voice that he kept hearing in his head and make it shut up. Some nights, the voice was so loud in his head, he couldn't sleep.

He began his trek to find the source of the voice a few years ago and he felt he was close. The voice had been getting louder the past few months. When he reached this mountain, the voice became his constant companion and it changed. Before it was soft and questioning but now it was loud and pleading. The blonde man paused on the rough path to wipe the sweat out of his purple eyes.

He was almost there. He didn't hear the voice in his head anymore. Now, he could hear it for real. And the voice was male, but sounded young, like a child. The blonde man couldn't hear words, exactly, more like hiccups, as if the child had been crying.

Strange, new sounds reached Goku's ears. It sounded like the rustling of cloth. He was still sitting near the front of his prison. The sun had broken through the clouds a while ago, but he didn't care. He had been staring blankly at the floor, not caring about anything.

Suddenly, a shadow moved across his toes. Goku looked up. There, on the opposite side of the bars was a man. He wore robes and had a strange piece of cloth with writing on it. He was tall, blonde and had droopy purple eyes. Goku stared at the man. He was young, only a few years older than Goku. They stared at each other for a long time.

"What do you want from me?" The man's expression changed. At first, he just looked bored, but now he looked angry. "Why do you keep calling for me?"

"I wasn't calling for you. I don't even know who you are." Goku's heart beat faster. Who was this man? Somehow, he reminded Goku of the sun. But, this man had a brighter aura than the sun.

The man put his hand out to Goku. Goku stared at the man's hand. He couldn't go anywhere. He was chained and nothing Goku had tried to break the chains ever worked.

"Come on. Maybe if I take you out of here, you'll shut up."

Goku reached his arm through the bars and the most amazing thing happened when he touched the man's hand. His chains broke and fell to the ground. The bars that kept him in crumbled and Goku walked out of his prison. His heart filled with joy.

The man began to walk away but stopped when he felt Goku's little hand on his arm. The blonde man turned and raised an eyebrow at Goku, wondering what this little child wanted.

Goku stared at the ground. He didn't want to make this man angry but there was something he wanted to do before he left this mountain for good.

"Please, let me bury my bird."

The blonde man looked at the sad little body of the yellow bird. He noticed it when he got to the cage, but didn't really give it much thought. He nodded to Goku and went to find a rock to sit on. He sat and lit a cigarette.

Goku took the little bird gently in his hands. He walked to a tree that he thought the little bird might like and set it down on the ground. He kneeled next to it and began to dig. He dug into the earth with his bare hands, not noticing the damage he was doing to his claws. This was the last thing he could do for his friend.

When the hole was deep enough, Goku scooped up the bird and gently laid it in the warm earth. Tears fell from his eyes as he covered his first friend. He sat back on his heels once he was done and gave the small mound a pat. He never would forget the happiness he felt on that one day he spent with the bright, yellow bird.

He got up and looked at the blonde man. "I'm ready to go."

The purple eyed man didn't say a word. He just put out his cigarette and got off the rock and started down the mountain path, not looking back to make sure Goku was following.

Goku followed the man, staring at his back. Goku didn't look back at the prison that had been his home for so long. That place didn't matter anymore. He had what his heart had been crying out for. He had his sun.


End file.
